Dear Zoë on your first day of JK

Dear Zoë,

You are 47 months old and I haven’t written you a letter in ages. We have had so much change in the last few months and now with you starting school I see that we have so much more to come. You have gone from being home with me full time, to various daycare arrangements. As of late you wake up each morning asking “Where am I going today?” I think you have been feeling displaced and that makes me feel so sad. With the start of school you will have more of a routine and I pray that it will make you feel more secure.

Today is your first day of school and Daddy and Brooklyn dropped you off. When I asked how it went his reply was “Heartbreaking” You were so pumped until you two got to the gate and then the tides turned. You cried and your teacher had to bring you into the classroom. While he didn’t admit it, I got the impression that your Dad cried all the way home. You are sometimes so fearless, confident and brave, and then other times you are my fragile little Zobird and remind me that you are still such my little girl. I know that by now you are having a total blast in your fun classroom with all your friends, but never doubt how much my heart was hurting thinking about you being sad.

Starting school is such a big milestone my love.  I feel it was just days ago I was stressing about letting you out of my sight to start daycare…and now here you are in school.  I know how much you love learning and I think that you really are going to thrive.  I have many fond memories of my days in primary school. Neat crafts, concerts, games and new friends. All things that I would consider your forte. I can’t wait to see all the exciting things that lie ahead this year.

We can have our moments you and I. These traits that I am sure will serve you so well later in life, often can make it so difficult to parent you. You are beyond strong willed and I love knowing no one will push you around when you are a grownup…however it makes you less willing to listen to me when I give you direction and some days that is just oh so hard. Always worth it, but sometimes hard.

Good days or bad days though we always somehow manage to laugh. You are an absolutely phenomenal big sister. I couldn’t have even imagined how much you would love and look out for Sloan. She is in a hair pulling, toy stealing stage and instead of retaliating you just holler until her fingers are untangled from your hair. Little sister only wants the cup, toy, snack etc that Big sister has. Inevitably you will just give it to her to make her happy, and it is just SO sweet. “It’s ok Mum, I gave Sloanie my dolly” You love just as fiercely as you dig your heels in. You love singing, dancing and doing ‘Bignastics’ I cant wait to see how your personality keeps developing. I know in what will feel like a short few months, we will look back on your first year of school and be astonished by how much you have grown.

Just like that book we have been reading every night lately…I wish you more my girl.

Love always,
Mama

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